The Freedom We Carry Inside

Shimla, Aug 23, Tina Saxena

As children we wanted to grow up fast, so that we could be free of all restrictions. We’d be free of the obligatory school, the exams, the discipline imposed upon us by our parents. We’d work and earn a lot, and be rich and buy ourselves all the sweets, all the gadgets, and everything our heart desired! Then we grew up, and got caught up in the rat race…

We have been taught to think of freedom as something external. A passport with no restrictions, a schedule with no obligations, a life with no debts, no bosses, no rules. We learn to chase it in bigger houses, longer vacations, more money, fewer responsibilities — as if happiness were hiding just beyond the next open door. But it is residing somewhere quieter, somewhere inside us.

You can walk out of every literal cage and still be trapped — by resentment you won’t put down, by an old wound you keep reopening, by the need for everyone to agree with you, by wanting others to live their lives by your standards and your values, by comparing your life to a stranger’s carefully crafted social media story or highlight reel. That is a prison without bars, and no amount of external freedom can unlock it.

And the reverse is just as true. I see that some of the truly free people, carry real limitations — illness, loss, hardship, economic constraints — and still move through the world lighting it up, shedding brilliance into its shadows. They don’t pretend that the obstacles don’t exist or the difficulties are unreal, or that the pain isn’t there, but they have understood that the suffering is optional, and have stopped adding a second layer of angst and suffering on top of it from the guilt, the blame, the why me, the tight grip, the need for control.

Freedom of the heart looks something like this:

Forgiving someone — not because they earned it, but because you’re done carrying it

Wanting something without needing it to be true for you to feel okay
Letting a person be who they are, without needing them to become who you wish they were
Feeling an emotion fully, then letting it pass through instead of building a house for it
Being okay with what comes your way even when life throws you those curve balls
This is not worldly detachment or pretending not to care.
It is a caring without clinging.

Loving without gripping.

Wanting without demanding that the world rearrange itself around your wanting.

Loosening your hold and letting things be.

Letting go of expectations.

Giving youself permission to relax and flow with life.

You can ask, “What do I need to change in my life to be happy?” and you can also ask, ‘What am I still holding onto that I can release, something that I am holding, out of habit, long after it has served its purpose?

Happiness, can be uncovered by loosening the grip, by letting things be, by relaxing instead of wanting to control and micro-manage every moment, every situation, every person…

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me at https://tinasaxena.com/ if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.